“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” Michael J. Fox
“When one’s expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have.“ Stephen Hawking
Disappointment arrives when expectations aren’t met. I have mentioned expectations and how I expect to get rid of them. I don’t think I’ll ever reach that place but getting closer every day is good enough for me. The next best thing to have no expectations is to turn disappointment into acceptance and embrace it.
I spent the Easter break with my family and friends in Noosa and it was great. Spent that time in amazing company, ate and drank like a lord, surfed and ‘beached’ every day, watched the kids play together. Had meaningful conversations and was able to grow a little more.
One morning, coming back from my early surfing session to cook breakfast, the rest of the gang was actively discussing the ‘Envelope System’ (https://lifetidesblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/10/ix-anchors-ii-money/) that Cat and I implemented. The feeling I got was absolutely amazing… my friends were reading our blog and that filled me with a joy and sense of accomplishment too great for words. I was gloating and happily joined the conversation trying to get the intake from all and expressing my point of view.
Disappointment hit me like a slap to the face when I realised that Cat had prompted that conversation and that no one had read more than the first 3 posts.
The feeling I had is my fault alone. I hoped, but never really expected that everyone would read my words. After all, they convey a message that is not interesting to most people and doesn’t add value to many. I have glanced over many blogs, but only a few have earned my full attention, so why would anyone waste their time reading about my thoughts and experiences?
I did the next best thing… shrugged the feeling off and embraced things for what they are and not for what I expected them to be. They are my friends, they have an interest in my life but they prefer to listen to my words rather than read them.
They are stimulating people, I relish my time with them and their values are well aligned with mine. But I wouldn’t waste my time reading their words if they decided to write about car engines, sewing machines, video games or the various types of coriander – I may engage in a conversation about the advantages of Call of Duty 4 over 3, but won’t intentionally search for it online.
I realised that it was very good that a discussion – based on an action that Cat and I took – was taking place and people getting value from it.
That same day, we all went out to watch the sunset and I found myself sitting alone with my eldest on the Main Beach pier. She loves our house and has balked at every hint of moving. I can’t really say what the antonym of Disappointment is, but that’s what I felt with our conversation.
Me: Mimocas, daddy would love to live here. What about you? Do you like Noosa?
Her: I like it a lot, daddy.
Me: And would you like to live here?
Her: We could take the sand and the ocean back home and that would be beautiful.
Me: You’re right, it would.
Her: Or, we could bring our home here.
Me: We could, but which do you prefer?
Her: We can bring our home here.