Below is an old musing that has been sitting in my “draft folder” for over a year.
How much of Alan is there in you?
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Alan
Picture Alan, someone who never had the need to work. His parents made sure he never lacked for anything. He saved, inherited and was astute in his investments. He now lives off that income.
He finished his social sciences degree but never held on to a job for more than 3 months. He always quit. He got bored. He wouldn’t put up with petty bosses and would retreat at the first sight of seemingly unsurmountable effort.
He’s not indolent. He invested in his interests with painting and writing courses. He gave painting classes to elders and is proactive in keeping a diary with his musings and happenings.
He’s in his late 30’s, single and doesn’t have any kids. He doesn’t like being alone and has held a couple of long term relationships. Most last but a few months. He doesn’t like to compromise and has been accused of selfishness for that.
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An argument can be made for how lucky Alan is. He doesn’t need to work and can invest his resources in developing his interests. He’s free from financially related stress and can easily move on whenever any of many life’s hiccups present themselves. He’s worry-free and can ‘play life by ear’.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have all that carefree freedom?
I don’t think so. I believe that a carefree life is only desirable for very young children.
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Personally, I think Alan’s unlucky due to his choices and intransigence. Alan never developed any work ethic and remains in a perpetual state of entitlement.
He never learned the art of compromising and negotiating to cultivate healthy relationships.
He never developed:
- the meaning that comes from taking responsibility;
- the resilience that spawns from obligatory everyday drudgery to ‘make ends meet’;
- the accountability that comes from making hard choices and sticking to them.
In a nutshell (and echoing one of Jordan Peterson’s main messages), he never took on personal responsibility which is the only way to find meaning in a life that is not easy for anyone.
Without having to deal with any obstacles and bailing at the idea of them, Alan will never grow up and stagnate in an eternal childlike status. Resentment will inevitably settle in and poison the essence of his ‘soul’, leading him deeper into the “dark side”.
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What would I do if I didn’t have a family nor the need to work?
There’s no easy answer and I’m conditioned by my actual situation. But I guess I would still hold a part-time job or just casual work – for what Aussies call “beer money” and also for the healthy psychological reward of doing paid work.
I would definitely imitate Alan and invest in the development of my interests. I would take intensive guitar and surf lessons and go on yoga courses and retreats around the world.
But in the end, I would need to find a way to give back. To contribute in a meaningful way. Be responsible for someone/something.
A life without responsibility, without contribution is an empty one, I think.
